Wardrobe Malfunction

I heard on the news this morning that the courts had overturned a $550,000 fine to CBS for the 2004 Superbowl Wardrobe Malfunction debacle with Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake.
I had a wardrobe malfunction once. Similar to Janet's. Justin Timberlake was not involved.
It was awful.

I was raised with boys. I had all brothers, the kids my age in my community were boys and it seems like most of my folk's friends were parents to boys. I was kindof a tomboy as a result but that is not too important to this tale....just an aside.

The setting was the river. A family/community outing to the river at Comstock was a summer must and usually always happened on the Fourth of July and sometimes at other times in the summer as well. I was a teenager and had just gotten a new swimming suit. I bought a nice one from a quality store in Kearney....this was no KMart special I'm telling you!
It was really pretty, white (lined, thank you very much) and had a rainbow across the front and it was a single shoulder....like a tarzan suit. Oh yes, you can already tell what happened can't you.

So, there were some great swimming holes in the river and we, me and the boys of the community, were doing porpoise dives and then rocketing ourselves off the bottom of the river to see how high we could get out of the river. Yep. It was fun. Until....Jane escaped. She was not on the side with the shoulder strap and rest is history. Pointing and laughter and high hilarity ensued at my expense. I was mortified. I still am. Do you see why I am not comfortable in a swimming suit...I am telling you....too many things can go wrong....and have.
I handled it very well I might add....I plopped back into the water, told the boys to shut up and grow up, tucked Jane back in and stomped off to the picnic area and stayed there with all the parents until it was time to go home. Very mature.

You might be wondering what happened to the suit....that was my very favorite suit I ever owned until the malfunction incident.....well when we washed it the rainbow of colors ran and we took it back and I used the refund to buy a suit from KMart and pocketed the difference. Good move don't you think? It was pink and very simple and seemed like a good one.
Unfortunately for me, AND unbeknownest to me.....it was great dry but became totally see through when wet. No. I did not know this until I was wet...in the river. Great. Perfect. Not the same boys around to witness yet another traumatic wardrobe malfunction. But yes, a boy was present. I made him marry me eventually to make it all sort of ok.

Remember the Swimsuit verse? I am still looking for a swimsuit that is fearfully and wonderfully made.