Self-Portrait

I have always known I was a little bit rebellious. Not the self-destructive kind but the quieter willfull kind where you just don't follow all the directions to a "T". I am like that with recipes. I am like that with lots of things and I have discovered that I am really like that with the One Minute Writer. ;) The prompt is good enough, but she always sort of then directs your writing down a path she wants you to take. I don't want to go to there. (Ok, all you 40 Rock watchers were the only ones that got that last sentence.:) ) I will go my own way thank you very much!

So today's prompt is "self-protrait" and I am supposed to describe what a self portrait of myself would look like. Ummm. I don't want to do that but I will write about another self portrait that I actually did in elementary school.

It must have been first grade. It is my earliest memory of realizing I was a complete dufuss. But I didn't know that word at the time....if I had....it would have fit quite well.

Our teacher asked us to draw pictures of ourselves. I am not very artistic. But I liked to draw and I enthusiastically completed the task. I am totally going to try to find this picture and scan it in because I probably still have it somewhere.

The result was a close of picture of my head only. Some of my classmates drew their whole bodies but I only did my head. I didn't even attach it to a neck and shoulders....and that was where the problem lay. Since my hair was shoulder length I went ahead and drew it that way. Since I had no neck to block the view of my hair down the back of my head.....I just sort of continued with the hair and it looked like I had a beard. Not a cool type of beard....but more of an Amishy looking beard. It was really really bad. I didn't really know what the fuss was until we got all the pictures hung up around the room and realized that though in my mind, I had drawn quite a good likenes....now that the picture was displayed....I was the only one with what appeared to be facial hair. Unfortunately I wasn't the only one that noticed that the picture was goofy. Almost all of my classmates did too. How embarrassing. Our parents were invited in and I remember some of my classmates making sure they pointed out my picture to them. Great.

The very worst part is that the rest of my family was really pretty artistic. I just didn't get it. All the artsy genes went to Tim....my oldest brother. He is and was creative in lots of different ways. If you irritated him, he was not satisfied with the typical unimaginative sibling slurs. He would say stuff like "May the fleas from a thousand camels rest in your nose hair." Then he would laugh hysterically at himself. You just knew he had been saving that one for quite awhile. So he was never really mad at you....you had actually done him a favor by giving him an opportunity to ridicule you with whatever crazy thing he had come up with. He is still that way.

Anyway...that day....the day when my classmates were making sure their parents knew I was ridiculous......well, I was wishing for some artsy talent. Either talent that Tim possessed would have been ok. I would have been happy with the artistic talent, because then I wouldn't have had to call on the fleas of a thousand camels to be at my bidding.....but that would have been a close second.