Not To Be Mean....

Cole will say "Not to be mean..." right before he says something mean like "...but this supper is not very tasty", or "...but your new hairdo is....not my favorite."
Today I helped at the Horse Show in town. I was the ring steward so I was the judge's right hand woman. It was fun. It was hot. It was dehydrating. But mostly, it was pretty fun.

It was an open show so anyone of any age and any skill level was welcome. It was not a big show and the largest classes were in the adult division. I showed horses in 4-H when I was 4-H age and I was amazed at the attitudes of some of the adults today. It was like a flash back to 4-H only now the contestants were 40+. There was still the brownnoser, the jockier, the curve bender, the complainer/whiner, and the tattle tale. Not to be mean....but I can't take the drama. To be fair to those whom have never had the privilege (?) I will detail these categories below:
1) The Brownnoser - Surely this is a fairly universal type but in the horse show world, these are the ones that say things like... " Oh judge, I really like the way you made this pattern, you are the best judge we have ever had!" Then I say..."I am not the judge." Then they look annoyed and go away which is fine by me. They seek out the real judge to try their evil plan on him.
2) The Jockier - This person will never go first because they want to watch a few others go through the pattern first to make sure they have it down. They won't even go first if their number is called...they will make it a point to have a tack problem or disappear for awhile knowing that they will be allowed to go later in the round. They are totally looking out for number one.
3) The Curve Bender - This person is trying to find a way to bend but not break the rules and should not be confused with the Jockier although you will sometimes find both traits in the same diabolical person. This person might enter a horse in the Green Broke class and maybe be challenged by the Entry person about that but then will respond by saying that Old Nelly should be in the Green Broke class because Old Nelly has never been shown before and she's old and eats green grass and she is broke and she is old....did I already say that. Ok....whatever. Old Nelly should not be in the Green Broke class but we don't want to fight about it so go ahead....Whoa! You should hear the Tattle Tales! But wait, we haven't gotten there yet. BTW...I am not saying this actually happened today.....but it might have....ok...it did.
4) The Complainer/Whiner - Ok. We probably don't have to go over this...but just for kicks and giggles we will. These people complain about everything. "It is hot and windy." Yep. Have you forgotten that you live in Nebraska? "The arena is dusty." Yep. Did you forget that it is hot and windy and that you live in Nebraska? "The show is not on schedule." Yep. Is this your first horse show? "The reining patterns are too hard to memorize." Are you kidding me? "The judge smells." Yep. Have you forgotten again that it is hot and windy and did you also forget that I am not the judge?
5) The Tattle Tale - Ok. Again, this is a fairly common and well know trait. Annoying yes, and even more so in the "adult" person. This personality at a horse show will tattle on people that are not using the proper bit for the class they are in or will point out that Old Nelly should not be in the Green Broke class.

Sometimes you will actually have someone exhibit all of the undesirable traits at once. It is frightening and horrible and for some reason you can't look away....like how I really hate snakes but will watch them crawl/slither off even though I want to run away. Here is an example that could have happened today...ok it did. In the Adult Showmanship class the judge had a pattern for the contestants to do. One person had Jockied themselves back in the lineup and watched almost everyone else do their thing then Brownnosed the judge when she got up to him and actually Brownnosed the person in line next to her as well. On a side note, she didn't brownnose me cuz, well, I had already told her earlier that I wasn't the judge...so there was no point. Then, after the placings she turned into a Complainer/Whiner by saying that the terrain where we did the Showmanship class was not good and it would have been better to do it in the arena instead then incredibly and skillfully segued right into the Tattle Tale and made sure the judge knew that someone he had placed ahead of her broke the pattern. I never caught her at Curve Bending....but surely she did...don't you think?

Not to be mean...but shouldn't you actually BE an adult to compete in the adult class? I'm just sayin'.