Three April Fool's Stories

April Fool's!



Actually I don't really do April Fools stuff much. But I do have three stories about April Fool's pranks. One I didn't pull and was accused of, one I was talked into being a part of and regretted, and one that was pulled on me.



FALSELY ACCUSED -



When I was working nights in ICU I never knew what day it was. Night shifts will mess you up. You go to work one day go home the next day and sleep for 6 or 8 hours but when you wake up it is still the same day....HUH? That's right. They will mess you up.



So I was scheduled to work on March 31st. When I got to work, there had been a total changeover of patients, which isn't rare because people in ICU either get better and move out to the floor or they....don't. Either way....typically an ICU stay is short.



Anyway, we had a patient that was a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR). She had come to us after a major surgery that went ok but she was older and was a poor candidate for surgery and her organs were shutting down. The family had decided based on her wishes that no heroic measures were to be taken to extend her life. The end was imminent and they were at the bedside as much as allowed even though she never regained consciousness. Heartbreaking stories propagate in ICU.



This particular patient started to fail about 10 pm and family was called to come back to the hospital. Several family members were at her bedside when she breathed her last. The procedure was to call the ER Doc up from downstairs and he would pronounce the person dead. However, the ER Doc did not want to be called until all the family was gone. We got him called a little before 11pm but he was busy with patients there and wasn't able to come up to ICU right away.



When he did come up it was just before midnight and by the time we got the patient ready for transport to the mortuary (we didn't have a morgue - thank goodness) it was the next day....April 1st. I called the on call mortician to let him know that we had a body that needed transported to the mortuary. The deceased had a very odd and unfortunate name. I truly don't recall what it was and wouldn't record it if I did but it was a weird one. The mortician thought so too and didn't believe me. He crabbily said "Ha Ha, Happy April Fool 's." I didn't know what he was talking about. I told him that I was not pranking him and he wouldn't believe me. Finally I told him I would give him my phone number so he could call me back to confirm, but he wasn't buying that either. Frustrated I told him to call the hospital's main number and ask for Intensive Care and I hung up.



Pretty soon the phone rang. I answered and it was the mortician. Skeptically he said "Yeah, I got a call to pick up Mrs.______________." He sort of laughed because honestly her name would make you laugh. I am sure he was convinced that I would say "Oh, yeah right, Good one!" and we would have a good laugh. I surprised him by saying "Yeah, that was me and that is her real name!" He was very contrite and arrived in record time and apologized over and over.



He said that they get a lot of prank calls at the mortuary. Really? Wow.

____________________________________________________



REGRETFUL PARTICIPANT



When I was in college in Lincoln I lived in an apartment complex on Cornhusker Ave. One day I was out for a walk and a high school friend happened to drive by and saw me and pulled over. We visited a while and as we were about to go our separate ways he asked if I would do him a favor. I said yes. You should never give an unqualified yes to the favor question. I know that now.



He wanted me to call his girlfriend and tell her that I was calling from the Broken Bow Hospital and that I really need to speak to him. Then he was going to show up and tell her that it was an April Fool's joke. I know, it doesn't even sound funny, but he gave me her number and I obediently did as I was asked. What I didn't count on was how upset she would get on the phone.



I said I was calling from the BB Hospital and needed to speak to Mr. ___________. She said that he wasn't there right then and asked if there was an emergency. Oh man.



I said "I'm sorry, I can't give any information to anyone other than Mr. __________." I was good. I could have won an Oscar. And.....I was already regretting my involvement because now she was scared and tearful. She tried a couple more times to get more info....but what could I say....there was no info! Looking back I wish I had just told her that he was trying to pull a prank on her....but somehow I just asked for him to call asap and hung up.



I had a stomach ache.



A few weeks later I happened to run into my friend and asked him about the prank. He was very sheepish. He said that he was held up that night so he didn't get right over to her apartment. In fact, it had been a couple of hours. She was frantic. She had called the BB Hospital and his parents trying to find out what awful thing had happened. So by the time he got there the joke was kind of on him, but in a bad way. She was furious. Not just with him either. Gulp. His family was mad and thought he was a jerk. And....it wasn't funny. Not one bit.



She did marry him. So there is a happy ending. But I still feel weird around her. I feel like I should apologize profusely but I am not sure if he told her I was the caller or not and if he didn't I don't want her to know and if he did I don't want to remind her that I was a jerk by association. So mostly. I avoid them both. Out of shame.

____________________________________________



PRANK VICTIM



A few years ago I had a student that came to our college Clinic one morning. We had seen him several times over the years he was here and he never once let on that he had a sense of humor.



This day he came in on a busy morning. I worked him into the schedule but had lots of things going on and was rushed and preoccupied. When I got him in the room I asked what we were seeing him for. He said "My Dr. told me to bring in this *stool sample." and he held out a black film canister with the lid on. *Just in case it is not common knowledge...."stool sample" is a euphemism for....poop. Sorry. Just breaking it down so we are all on the same page.



I asked what we were supposed to do with it. He claimed he didn't know but that the Dr. told him to bring it in and we would know. GRRRR! WHAT!!! So I ask if he had been having problems or stomach aches or blood or something. The answers were no but he encouraged me to look in the canister and maybe I would be able to tell. EWWW. No Thanks. I kept trying to figure out what we were supposed to do with this stool sample!!! I even stepped out of the room and asked the PA what we might be testing a stool sample for. She was no help but said just go ahead and take it from him and we would figure it out. Oh man.



I went back in and said we would just take it and try to contact his Dr. He said "Don't you want to look at it first?" Ummm No.



He held the canister out to me and encouraged me to look inside and said he wasn't even sure there was enough in there. I said I would just take it up to the lab and he pulled it back as I reached out and said "I really think you should look" and he popped the top off the canister.



He had rigged a piece of brown foam on top of a compressed coil spring inside there and when he popped the top out flew the foam!



I was so startled that I yelled out "HEY!" and he started laughing uncontrollably and I could hear the PA laughing too. He had gotten her in on it too evidently.



I said "Are you sick at all?" He said "Nope." I said "Well then GET OUT OF HERE!" He laughed all the way through the waiting room and out into the hall. I bet he still gets a chuckle out of that one.



I could not believe that he pulled that on me! He must have been determined....that clinic starts at 7am and he was there by 7:30. That is a dedicated April Fool's person for sure.