Filter Problems

We rarely get notes from school.

Cole is the most responsible person in our family. Sad. But true.

He reminds us of things, puts forms that need to be signed in front of our faces and hands us a pen and then waits for our autograph so he can stash it right in his book bag if it is something that needs to go back to school.

So a paper sitting out on the counter with a computer generated picture of a stick family...us....with his teacher's handwriting on the bottom saying

"Cole - very good! Show them this!

well, that caught my attention.

The assignment must have been to write about your hero.

This is what the Coleminator wrote:

My parents are my heroes. I look up to them. They have the right ideas of things usually. (wow...he really likes us!)

Sometimes I know something they shouldn't do except they don't listen. Like when my Dad tried to burn some tumble weeds, it got out of control and the fire department came to put it out. (Ok mister smarty pants...)

Before that I told him not to do it, but I still love him as a parent and hero. My mom is not usually wrong in front of me.

She sometimes calls people bad names on accident though. (WHAT!!!)

They are both nice and loving still. Even though they're taller than me I look up to them for other reasons.

They teach me good character, manners, and how to be polite. (What about how to filter???!!)

For all these reasons my parent are my heroes.

(Heavy Sigh) Ok. Ummmm. First I would like to say that it is extremely nice that he wrote that we were his heroes. But I feel I must refute some of the accusations! The fire....yes all that is true....the boy does not lie but seriously....that was like, 4 years ago! John has not started a major fire since and after the whole July 2006 devastating wildfire.....I really think he is over his pyro faze.

Second...I do NOT call people bad names! Not even by accident! There was this one time however, that Cole is basing this whole "fault" on. It was at least 3 years ago and we had gone to the Black Hills Stock Show in Rapid. We were trying to park and there was a parking lot attendant, sort of. He was standing in front of us and not giving us and direction then kind of rudely motioned us where he wanted us like we were already supposed to know. Well I had had about enough of him in that 5 seconds and I did say something like...."thanks dufus." You know, not to him....just sort of to myself, only actually I said it out loud. Cole has never let me forget it.

It was not a shining moment I know. I should have filtered.

This whole deal reminds me of another paper the teacher wanted Cole to be sure to show us....

I couldn't find it just now but I did save it somewhere because it really made me laugh.

It was a similar assignment. Cole wrote some really nice things about me and how I was someone he really admired.

You may not see the humor.....but the funny part is that the instructions said it had to be about someone living and evidently Cole didn't see that part until he had already written the name of his subject in at the top.....because my name was not the first name he had put down there......he had erased his first choice......George Washington. :)

It also reminded me of his 1st grade year when I thought he was going to get us arrested. It is funny now....but at the time.....whew!

He had an awesome new teacher that year. Mrs Kunka will probably always be in the top two or three of his best teachers ever.

One day he came home and told me that they had talked about times they had gotten hurt. I took the bait..."So what kind of times did you talk about Cole?"

Cole said...."Mostly I talked about times that Daddy has hurt me, like when he kicked me down the stairs and that other time when he punched me and it knocked me out."

WHAT!!!!!

Did I mention that Mrs. Kunka was married to Mr. Kunka.....and that Mr. Kunka was a police officer? Yep.

My pulse went up a few.....hundred beats. I said...."Cole....Daddy has never kicked you down the stairs or knocked you out! Why would you tell her that?"

Cole said "Yes he has....just the other day...remember? I scraped my back."

Then I did remember. Ok. The first thing you should know is that the "stairs" are two steps down from the living room into the kitchen. One morning John was walking behind Cole and Cole was being pokey so John took ahold of his shoulders and started bomping him on the behind with his knee and lifting him up in the air a little. They were both laughing and having a good ole time. But, when they got close to the steps, Cole's stocking feet hit the edge of the step and he slid down and got a rug burn on his back. John picked him up and loved him up and all was fine....or so I thought.

I reminded Cole of that whole story and he remembered it just that way too. He just hadn't shared all the details with his teacher.....he just gave her the Cliff Notes version. Great.

I had no idea what he could be talking about on the "punched me and knocked me out" deal so I asked him to describe that for me.

It seems that John and Cole were driving home in the pickup and John had to stop suddenly and he did the "Parent Protection" thing and threw his right arm out in front of Cole (even though he was buckled in) and caught him squarely in the chest and KNOCKED THE AIR OUT OF HIM. He did not punch him and knock him out! Yep. Cliff Notes on that one too.

What a deal. I didn't know what to do. I was sure we would be investigated. But you know what? Mrs. Kunka might have been a new teacher but she must have been wise beyond her experience. She never said a word about it.

In fact. The only time we got called in was when Cole told some kids in school that Santa wasn't real. He also told them that the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy weren't real.

Again, filtering problems. We really need to work on that!